Monster
by ThisAccountIsNowInactive354085
Summary: Lily/Narcissa Femslash.   "Because she's not Narcissa at all."


**Disclaimer: Nothing's mine but the plot! Song is Monster by Lady Gaga. The lyrics have been SLIGHTLY changed because in Gaga's song it's a guy but yeah. PLEASE read and review!**

_**Monster {Narcissa/Bellatrix, Narcissa/Lily}**_

They're a masterpiece- a painting so lovely and surreal that you'd think they were dolls in a still life.

But then those _eyes _are boring into you and the hand curls just so around the smaller girl's head, pulling her down to her, and you begin to see something that maybe you wish you hadn't.

**She ate my heart,  
She a-a-ate my heart.  
She ate my heart,  
She a-a-ate my heart out.**

When Lily Evans boards the Hogwarts Express for the first time, she's so excited that she's practically bouncing in her too-big robes because she's a _witch_, and there's nothing in the world more important.

And then she stops and it feels as if time does as well as three slight girls with faces like dolls glide over to the train. They're alone, and Lily instinctively leans towards her mother.

There's the one with the hair like shining obsidian, the one who sends a forbidding shiver down Lily's spine, and there's the one that's just like her only not. And then there's the smallest, the fairest (the queen), and her silver eyes flit around the station. They rest on Lily's face for just a millisecond too long and then she's holding onto the arm of the scary girl with the beautiful face. That girl now turns in Lily's direction and cocks an eyebrow, just high enough to make Lily feel two inches tall with her eyes like coal.

But it's the silver eyes that haunt her, like cold ash, challenging and just a little bit afraid, and Lily just _knows _that she should be running like hell.

**Look at her,  
Look at me-  
That girl is bad, but honestly,  
She's a wolf in disguise,  
But I can't stop staring at those evil eyes.**

Now Lily's in her fifth year and oh, she _hates _Narcissa Black, with her platinum hair and eyes like frozen quicksilver. She hates the way the girl's always so bloody _superior _and the way she'll slack off just like Bellatrix and _still _receive the highest marks because she's a _Black_. Lily absolutely _hates _the way Narcissa looks at her with that one raised eyebrow, so much like Bellatrix, and Lily _knew _that would happen.

So when a bored Narcissa Black saunters up to Lily's desk after Charms and fixes her with that piercing gaze, naturally Lily makes no move to run.

_Naturally_, Lily scowls up at the girl whose long, pale fingers were splayed across the top of the desk and stands to accept the nonverbal challenge, and _naturally _it's completely and utterly unavoidable that Narcissa takes advantage of her stubbornness and shoves her back on top of the desk.

Of course, Lily attempts to struggle and growls protests, but they're reduced to nonsensical insults as Narcissa's lips crash down into hers and Lily's insides melt away and suddenly she realizes that she should have followed her instincts four years ago and _run_.

**She licked her lips,  
Said to me,  
"Girl you look good enough to eat."**

Now Lily's in her sixth year and she's sitting up on the shimmering emerald duvet that Narcissa had imported- two thousand thread Egyptian cotton. Narcissa's sprawled out like a panther, and Lily's almost certain now that Blacks must be invertebrates after accidentally walking in on Remus and Sirius that one dark, dark night.

Suddenly Lily puts her book down with a muffled plop and Narcissa slowly raises her silvery gaze to Lily's jade. The eyebrow's already raised in a disinterested question.

Lily licks her lips and her heart's thumping in her chest like a traitor but she asks it anyway.

"_Why are you so much like her?"_

Narcissa's expression doesn't change, but there's a clenching in her jaw and a flicker of something like a fire in those icy eyes for the first time since that day at the train.

"_Like who?"_

**I asked my girlfriend if she'd seen her around before,  
She mumbled something as we got down on the floor-**

But Narcissa's not stupid- Narcissa _knows _who Lily's talking about. She doesn't reply, just shoves Lily back onto the bed just hard enough so that the Gryffindor feels a slight jerk down her spine. And as she's kissing down Lily's neck (hard enough to hurt but soft enough that there will be no mark), she mumbles something that Lily just barely catches and even then she wonders if she heard correctly, because really, had Lily only imagined the devotion on that first day?

**That girl is a monster!  
M-M-M-Monster!  
That girl is a monster!  
M-M-M-Monster!  
That girl is a monster!  
Er-er-er-er**

Now it's winter and Lily's looking forward to her first Yule Ball, and she even has a date- not Narcissa, though.

_Never _Narcissa.

From across the hall she feels the icy stare zero in on her back and she knows that James'll be feeling the unfortunate aftereffects of a slug-vomiting potion by morning. So she breaks away from James, claiming food sickness and darts into the hallway and Narcissa's _there_.

Lily breaks into a smile for Merlin-knows-what reason because it's not as though she's in love with Narcissa Black. Deep inside she _hates _Narcissa, she really does. But still she feels her heart soar into her chest until her eyes find Narcissa's and then it plummets because it's not Narcissa at all.

_**I wanna just dance,**__**  
**__**But she took me home instead-**_

And now Narcissa's tearing Lily's dress robes away from her body and biting at her neck, marking her for her own and it _hurts _and that's when Lily begins to realize. Narcissa never really hurt her- a hard kiss and a playful nibble, maybe, but she'd never drawn blood before.

And now Narcissa's gazing up at her and her mouth's just open and she's gazing up at Lily from underneath thick, dark lashes. But it's the eyes that scare Lily- those charcoal-lined eyes that used to be so scared and challenging. They're dark and _empty _and it's not Narcissa at all.

**Uh-oh!  
There was a monster in my bed!**

Those eyes don't change back when it's time for Lily to go back home for the summer and Narcissa to become Mrs. Lucius Malfoy.

They don't change back as Narcissa drags Lily out into the hallway on the pretense of a final disciplining before her Head Girl status is stripped and instead shoves her back into a dark corner of the train. Her lips are hard, and their teeth crash together and Lily winces because she can taste the blood but it's not her mouth that hurts.

_**We French kissed on a subway train,**__**  
**__**She ate my heart and then she ate my brain...**_

And then Narcissa's backing away, but her hands are still pinning Lily against the wall and she leans forward, pressing a soft, gentle kiss to Lily's bruised lips, and for a moment Lily sees Narcissa inside of her.

Lily's eyes ache with unshed tears as Narcissa leaves arm-in-arm with Lucius Malfoy and she wonders- not for the first time- if maybe it could have been different.

If maybe, if she had seen it from the start, if _maybe_, she would have run that day at the Hogwarts Express.

And then she thinks back to the look in Narcissa's eyes that night and forever and Lily's _sure _that she should have.

But she'd do it all again, if only for those silver eyes.

_**That girl is a monster!**__**  
**__**M-m-m-monster!**__**  
**__**(Could I love her?)**_

Some nineteen years later, Narcissa Malfoy stoops beside the one obstacle facing her husband and her lord and is prepared to kill the boy if he isn't dead already.

But then he blinks and his eyes meet hers but they're not his at all, and Narcissa finds herself staring down at Lily Evans, and Narcissa reaches down to touch her but suddenly her fingers are long and claw-like and her hair is as dark as her name. She halts and suddenly she can't breathe and her eyes widen and she's clawing at her face because it's not hers at all.

Narcissa remembers the cold, dark nights and the fingers like liquid nitrogen and the lips like acid and she recoils because when she looks down at Lily Evans, she sees herself, terrified and vulnerable.

And then Narcissa returns and he's not Lily at all, but she reports his death anyway because she's not Bella.

She's _not_.

**That girl is a monster!  
Er-er-er-er.**


End file.
